For everyone back in Merrie Olde Englande (well, international in general) the shipping for Black Blood of the Earth has always been prohibitive. Prohibitivr to the point that the postage almost costs as much as the product in some cases, as BBotE must ship express internationally. The per liter shipping price improves with the larger volume items, but it’s still a substantial investment for something you’ve never tasted.

But now London, England (not Ontario, sorry Canada) will have local distribution. That’s right! There is going to be a BBotE Pimp of London. I can hear the Warren Zevon parody in my head right now.

Next week, Justin will come into possession of a case of assorted 1L BBotE bottles. We went for the larger size to give a better volumetric bang for the buck/pound in Transatlantic shipping. Anticipated going price for local hand off is $80. Expensive, but a nice discount on what the normal price with shipping is (~$110 for a single 1L bottle) to London.

If you wish to partake in his delights, you may contact the Lord BBotE Pimp of London by email, [email protected].

In other news, I finally cleared up some production schedule to the point that I can do some experimenting again. The folks at Caffe Vita, who give me the Mundo Nuvo I so adore, gave me a sample of their Nicuraguan they’re quite proud of to play with. Considering the last time they gave me something they were proud of it was the Guatemalan Mundo Nuvo, I’m rather excited about this.

Right. Back to thinking about plutonium for a while instead of coffee.

So, the folks at Giant Bomb and Tested.com got their hands on a respectable supply and variety of Black Blood of the Earth a couple of weeks ago and, so it seems, they’ve been hoarding it for this day.  Sometime around noon they began their 24 hour Oktoberkast podcastathon thingee in support of Child’s Play (no, not the murderous puppet movie franchise). Not long after, they promptly broke into the BBotE.

They’re still at it right now, nerding it up with the best of them, bless their hearts. Go have a viddy at them and perhaps, maybe, consider making a donation. If you can’t stand that much concentrated nerdery, you could just click here and donate directly to Child’s Play via Oktoberkast here.

Rather than a Q&A, I have answers to questions I didn’t know existed from a couple of astute Test Subjects that need sharing. First, from Germany I have this fascinating missive:

I just liberated my shipment from the German customs office, and experienced something you might be interested in.

I declared BBotE as “coffee extract”, which seemed accurately enough, and then discovered that Germany still has a coffee tax (the things you forget…). In order to calculate this the dry coffee mass in the extract is needed. This seemed to promise some back and forth between me, you and the customs office, until I remebered to ask for the base amount of coffee tax.

4.78EUR per kilogram of dry mass.

I opted to declare the mass of the whole liquid content as dry coffee mass, paid 5.98EUR of coffee tax, and took my package home.

Interestingly, this particular bit of tax is something that is as old as the Franco-Prussian War and has fluctuated with time and government. I’m fond of the theory that the rise of chicory blended coffee in Germany was to help avoid this tax as it has traditionally been a “by weight”.

If you have interesting tales of tariffs, taxes, and customs I’d love to hear them. Generally, I hear “Got it. WOOOOO!!!” but not the travails. So far, only Royal Mail/Parcelforce (AKA Parcelfarce, as Charlie Stross likes to call them) have caused me any deep vexation, greatly delaying the delivery of a birthday stein to a certain bearded madman.

Meanwhile, in the vicinity of Seattle, Test Subject Scottie sends this:

See, I love to drink coffee, but for whatever reason (it actually isn’t the caffeine) it had a tendency for giving me headaches. Not one to shy away from a bad idea for immediate gratification, I bought BBotE anyway, and… no headache. I don’t know why, and I don’t care, because you have given me back the gift of delicious coffee.

In return for this treasure, I should tell you that I use a well-placed cup of the stuff to get my rather rotund self up and active when I haven’t done my work-out for the day. I’m not saying you SHOULD completely exaggerate that story to market BBotE as a means of losing weight, but if you did, I’d understand. It might also be of note that more than a few members of my family line were very wealthy snake-oil salesmen. You can interpret that how you like.

Whatever gets you going, sir. Always glad to hear BBotE helping folks out. Bizarre as it is to think of it as a health food, it’s genesis lays in my trying to reduce sugar intake as a diabetic. Speaking of headaches, Test Subject Jana in LA had this to say:

I’ve always loved deep, dark roasts both for taste and tunnel vision (or is it a worm hole?) effect. I’m a writer and live my life by deadlines that are less about sheer time than they are about getting to a better answer faster. Nothing does that like coffee.

Sadly, in my early 40s, coffee started not loving me. On a regular cup, within minutes, my face breaks out, eyes itch and puff up. Where I used to feel smoothly creative, my forehead feels like concrete and I just get angry. Even going into a coffeehouse where they’re pulling shots can be a problem. Tea is fine, so I assume it’s something about the coffee oils.

I tried cold drip coffee but I HATE the taste. I love green and black teas, but they don’t deliver the specific sense of concentration that coffee does. I’ve tried ingesting caffeine in just about every other way imaginable (yes, that way, too) and nothing works.

And then came Death Wish. While it hasn’t solved all of life’s problems, the smooth concentration and intense flavor are everything I love about coffee. And a bottle and a half later, no inflamed skin or itchy eyes. After Natara’s (ed: the Pimpstess of Greater LA) warnings to be judicious, I’ve found that 25ml in the morning over ice with milk and water is perfect. (More than that is like putting a vise around my head — still clear thinking, but pressurized.)

Better living through science, indeed.

I’m sure the ladies and gents out at Death Wish are happy to be part of the writing process.

Anyway, those are a few interesting missives that have rolled in recently that I thought were worth sharing in lieu of the promised Antarctic Toilet Expedition. Fear not, procrastination will break eventually. In the meantime, a teaser.

Moving on to happier topics, I try to invoke Professor Farnsworth whenever possible as I am a Platinum Club Elite Member of the Angry Dome and the Chamber of Understanding.

The first case to the Pimp of DC/Baltimore, Eric, should be arriving tomorrow. As more than a few folks have asked when the Capitol Wasteland would finally enjoy it’s own BBotE Pimp, instead of it’s conventional run of the mill pimps, your desires have been answered.

The Pimpstress of NYC, Wish,will be getting a resupply that his heavy in Death Wish early next week. I hear tell that she will be wandering the floors of NY ComicCon, likely armed with 50ml vials. And if you are wandering through NYCC, please make a point to go torment the boys & girls over at the Atomic Robo table. Even if Ernest P. Warrell (AKA Scott Wegener) has a pants malfunction, it’ll still be a good time.

The Pimpstress of Greater Los Angeles, Natara, is in possession of a similarly Death Wish heavy case and will be receiving another one soon for her proposed BBotE tasting party at the end of October that will have a little bit of everything in it.

Lastly, in the very near future, probably sometime next week, the Pimp of Seattle, Jim, will be receiving his inaugural case. You may feel free to start poking him now by email at [email protected]. Oh yes, I know you people in Redlands have been waiting, yes I do.

And Ireland, you may get a highly intermittent Pimp in Dublin. More news on that as it develops.

As a reminder, the Pimps and Pimpstress serve their noble roles as volunteers, unpaid save for the very ready availability of BBotE to their persons. They are doing you a favor by dramatically cutting shipping costs down, so please treat them nicely. Thank you, kids.

After roughly two weeks of maximum output BBotE production, I can finally come up for some air and share some tinkering that I’ve been doing and respond to some requests. For folks who ended up waiting more than a week for me to finally get something out your way, I’d like to apologize for that and I hope that the BBotE was worth the wait.

But first I want to share something wonderful with you. It is called The Cup of Hate:

Despite a 350ml FMJ stein being my vessel for coffee administration, I find it hard to not be jealous of Test Subject Miller’s creation. Oh Zardoz, your budgie smuggler will haunt humanity through the ages.

Next, Steinwielder Thornber made a special request of me several weeks ago. He has a 665ml FMJ stein but has always been too worried about his fellow passengers to comfortably transport it from home, to his local watering holes, and back again in a more inebriated manner. He’d also found that his preference for some of the local Belgians was not particularly suited to the imperial pint size. He wanted to know if it was possible to make a 350ml stein in the style of the “rugged” 665ml FMJ.

I told him I didn’t know, but I’d be willing to tinker around with it. The result worked quite well. It’s heavier than the normal 350ml FMJ, but it gets the job done. Because you never, ever, buy just one of anything when you’re experimenting (have to expect failures) the twin to Steinwielder Thornber’s 350ml rugged FMJ stein is now in the Prototypes & Clearance section.

Speaking of the Prototypes & Clearance section…

Courtesy of the many, many, MANY new eyeballs that have graced the website since Test Subject McKinney casually mentioned Black Blood of the Earth in an article he wrote for Cracked.com in his author’s info block (and I’m not quite sure if I want to thank or shoot him for that), I’ve had a lot of folks asking why I didn’t have samplers of Death Wish, Mundo Nuvo, etc. Honest answer, because I haven’t been able to maintain sufficient supplies of all them to be able to think of offering a Sampler II, Electric Boogaloo. Now that the order wave has passed, I can and it is now up there. Sampler II will always be limited in inventory and the limited runs may shift over time as given roasters run out of certain varietals.

SHORT VERSION: Go here, figure out a way to buy ALL THE THINGS. You’re welcome.

DISCLOSURE: I get nothing out of this beyond my friends being able to write more comics and me being able to read them. So, yes, it is entirely selfish on my part.

For those of you new to my rambling, I will from time to time take a moment to share things I think you all need to know about to help make the world a better place. Better is defined by my highly subjective and personal standards of More Awesome that will get people thinking about and enjoying the world they live in.

One of those things that qualifies for this is the comic Atomic Robo, by Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, Rhonda Pattison, Jeff Powell and the unofficial fifth Beatles of Team Robo that helps them spake Angleesh much da goods, Lee Black.

They are embarking on their sixth volume now but, thanks to their Promise and understanding of the narrative art/storytelling structure, you can happily drop in at any point story that spans the 90 year long (thus far) life of Atomic Robo and you’ll be no worse for wear. I’m gonna strongly recommend you read all of it because I like you and want you to have More Awesome in your life, but you may feel free to start at Volume 6, Issue 1.

Volume 6, Atomic Robo and the Ghost of Station X, starts with the wonderful combined narrative threads of astronauts in trouble and the mystery of why someone stole a building from Blechtley Park. If that isn’t enough to sell you on wanting to know the rest of the story, I don’t know what will. There is also, teehee, a glorious surprise in it.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting the creators, caffeinating the bejeezus out of them, and then setting them loose on the world of comics once more. It’s sort of like a creative catch and release program. I’ve had the pleasure of being science sounding board for them for several years now. It’s one of those things that makes my day when I get a fresh email along the lines of “Phil, how does *INSERT HORRIBLE THING HERE* work and how can it be made More Awesome?”

I adore Atomic Robo for more or less the same reasons I loved the cartoons Animaniacs and Invader Zim. For one, they’re funny and they’re funny on multiple levels, which makes them appealing to both kids and adults. Second, they are smart. There’s a lot more than just funny and Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, grade explosions. If you aren’t careful, you’ll accidental learn things. And third, the detail in both words and art. Brian & Scott have managed to hide an awful lot of things that give the world of Atomic Robo depth and character. I can see where Scott went off the deep end and spent hours researching engineering awards from the height of the Jet Age, just to make a logo look right for the era. They’re crazy, but it’s crazy I appreciate.

Enough of my words. Go buy it, read it, and enjoy it. Then go buy more and give it to a child you wish to corrupt.

There have been enough/sufficient repetition of questions that another Q&A is in order. Without further ado, The Questions!

Question 1: Why do you only offer the special production stuff in 750ml bottles? Why can’t I get a Death Wish Jug of Madness?

Answer: 4L of Death Wish BBotE?!? I worry about you guys sometimes. Honestly, I can put anything in any kind of container I want. The reason I default to 750ml bottles is that it lets me divvy out a small run into enough bottles that more people will get a stab at picking one up. Making jugs of the special runs would tend to suck up most of that production without sharing. With that said, if you want a different size of something special, all you have to do is ask and be understanding that it may cause some delay.

Question 2: Are you going to sell/license BBotE to Starbucks/Stumptown/Dunkin Donut/etc.?

Answer 2: Not intending on it, no. I also kind of doubt it’s their thing. Coffee is a very high profit product for them that accompanies the sale of various pastries. BBotE, simply put, isn’t. The coffee input, scientific apparatus, and space/time commitment defeat that at all levels. I’ve also found BBotE production doesn’t scale well, so you can’t just have someone minding a giant vat in the back because geometry matters to the flavor. On that note, I’d just like to say that it’s really disturbing to have a lesson I learned in Criticality Safety apply to coffee.

Question 3: Are you ever going to tell any more Antarctica stories?

Answer: As my Lovely Assistant can attest, you are hard pressed to get me to not tell them but free time is the great limiting factor. I’d actually been contemplating a very vital Antarctica topic while I was in Reno: toilets. It’s also is likely to fulfill one of the legs of the Tripod of Humor (puns, groinings, poop jokes) so it is a tale that demands to be told. Another day.

Question 4: Why don’t you have the HDPE watertight lids for the normal Steins of Science instead of just the rugged style?

Answer: Because I’m a slacker? A better excuse is that the HDPE lids are a lot of work to make, each one is unique to the Stein of Science it’s made for (not to mention that the fit tolerance is rather tight), and the demand hasn’t been all that high. I did the original spec work last year for the rugged 665ml which has slightly different dimensions than the normal FMJs, but different enough that I can’t use the HDPE lid designed for one on the other. And then, well, I kinda moved on to other projects. Someday though…

In the process of firing everything back up in the aftermath of WorldCon 2011 in Reno. More importantly, I have expanded production capacity to a stunning 9L/day starting tomorrow. If this doesn’t sound impressive, well, thhhhpppbbbt. I’m impressed and it’s also necessary to get a head of the backlog in light of the quantity and size of some orders. The first post-Reno shipments start going out tomorrow, so brace yourself.

On to story time…

Before heading to the Carolina shore for some beach shenanigans with friends, Test Subject Zublin decided it would be wise to procure a supply of BBotE for experimentation and, possibly more importantly, letting hijinx ensue. I did admonish her that, no matter how fun it might seem, it is not nice to dose the unsuspecting, even if they are your friends. Armed with BBotE and the handy serving/cocktail instructions, she set out for the coast. One week later, I received this which made me laugh even when I re-read it and that is the sure sign that it should be shared:

The problem with the vodka/coffee combo is that you want more than 100 ml.

 

And you think it’s fine because the vodka is a depressant and should counteract the coffee and anyway you have ALL THESE STAIRS TO RUN UP AND DOWN and hey want to light off some bottle rockets because I love bottle rockets bottle rockets are amazing. Let’s light off three at once and see if they fight!

 

Ahem.

 

I’m not normally a fireworks person but on this particular day we had bottle rockets and roman candles and sparklers, and once you set off one and realize that certain things (namely yourself and the ocean) are not on fire, you want to set them ALL OFF.

 

Especially when under the influence of a truly stunning amount of caffeine. One of the friends who drank it with me on vacation just sent me this with “That’s YOU. That’s what YOU sound like.”

It appears that a good time was had by all. I have a hard time imagining that in this modern day and age the proceedings weren’t captured on video somewhere. Perhaps it will appear online some day when long forgotten videos are downloaded from phones.

Since I’ve had a few questions about it recently,  I though I’d lay it out again with an addition that I realized I’d never actually mentioned before but is important as some folks are getting close to MAXIMUM HONOR.

So, your BBotE can be refilled. Keep a hold of the shipper that I send the bottle to you in. When you finish you bottle, rinse it out and send it back to me. While I may ship BBotE to you either priority of express mail,your empty doesn’t have to return to with any particular speed. Once I get it back, I will email you with a 10% off discount code for your refill order. In the best case scenario, you actually have two bottles going in rotation so that you are never tragically left without BBotE.

NOTE: “refill” means putting new BBotE in your old bottle for you until the bottle is full once more. Hence, re-fill.

If you look at the label, you can see several blank lines so I can note the different varieties & batches you go through as you get refills. When you hit the last line, the next refill is free and you should retire that bottle as it has achieved MAXIMUM HONOR.

Honestly, silly declarations of kung fu cafffeination aside, I would like to promote the reuse of the bottles. I remember the wonderfully battered big Coke bottles I used to buy at the liquor store when I was little and always thought that nice eternal aspect of glass was great. The only complication I see in my plan is that so many people have told me that they adore the bottles that I’ve used that they’re keeping them for something else. That’s recycling too even if it’s not quite what I intended.

NOTE: People in Ireland who’ve been haranguing me about the expense of shipping BBotE, be sure to read all the way through.

Things have been somewhat quiet here lately as I do my best to keep up with the DEADLY RADIATIONS and an unprecedented level of Black Blood of the Earth demand, courtesy of a surprisingly large response from people around the world in the wake of Thrillist, SF & LA Weekly, Bon Appettit, and werd.com. Pretty much since returning from the previous leg of the SCIENTIFIC DRINKING TOUR 2011, I’ve been running at maximum production capacity. On a positive note, this shows me that hey, you all like BBotE as much as I and the Pimps & Pimpstresses do. On the negative, it is scramble to keep a head of you people and the ever-shifting variety of highest demand. In the last year I have never, ever, ever guessed correctly what the next order is going to be so there’s been lags in shipping BBotE longer than the 72hrs I try to work to. C’est le guerre.

First and most importantly, Guatemala Mundo Nuvo is coming back for a limited engagement. After nearly a year of waiting, the lovely folks at Caffe Vita have gotten this year’s harvest of Mundo Nuvo and they heeded my endless whining and pleading to give me mass quantities. Last year a couple dozen people got to try it and, from them, I got a regular drumbeat of “When you gonna get more of that Mundo stuff?” Well, they finished roasting it and its headed my way. I’m putting the Mundo Nuvo pre-order up now, but production of it won’t start until after Worldcon so shipments will start going out the week of the 22nd.

Oh yes, Worldcon 2011 is the next stop on the SCIENTIFIC DRINKING TOUR 2011. So, Reno, NV or convention attendees, this is your chance to let me know what you’d like me to bring with. At the very least, I’m always quite happy to have beers with interesting people. If you spot this odd little man with long red hair and Stein of Science, feel free to say hi and buy me a beer to fill that stein. Hey, it’s worth a shot…oh, and doing shots with me is also acceptable.

Speaking of sci-fi, I had the pleasure of getting to sit down, enjoy several beers and discuss Things of Import (like beer) with author Charles Stross last Saturday as he came through San Francisco for a signing. It remains an enduring wonderment to me when I get asked a professional/expert opinion. Over the years, I’ve gotten quite used to viewing myself as the scientific jack of all trades, the blue collar physicist, so it’s always a surprise when I’m treated as an authority on anything.

If you aren’t already familiar with Mr. Stross’ works and didn’t have a friendly Antarctic astrophysicist to introduce you to them, let me fill that role for you. I recommend starting with the same gateway drug I did, “The Atrocity Archives“, and fall down the rabbit hole from there. Charlie’s brainstorming and open questions to the Internet on his blog never fail to give me something to chew on. They’re interesting enough that I regularly break Internet Rule #2, “Life Is Too Short To Read The Comments”, which is funny in light of the fact that his newest novel is titled “Rule 34” (AKA, and I quote the author, Charlie’s Big Gay Scottish Police Procedural OF THE FUTURE). Never say I didn’t do anything for you.

Next, I am happy to inaugurate the Somewhat Intermittent BBotE Pimp of Dublin. Yes, Dublin, as in Ireland. Your Pimp, Brady, is a student in an American student in Dublin who was kind enough to bestow the rather expensive gift of internationally shipped BBotE on a friend last year. As he travels back and forth across the pond, hence “Somewhat Intermittent Pimp” he will schlepp BBotE for Dubliners who are up for it. The 750ml bottles are likely to end up a bit more expensive than the usual $45 due to the luggage fees, but I’ll leave it up to him to figure out and tell us all what the deal will be, but it will no doubt be a hell of a lot cheaper than international shipping would otherwise be. If you want to drop him a line he can be reached at manningb [at] tcd [dot] ie.

Lastly, the pre-order for the late August Death Wish 750ml BBotE runs are also up too. The last of the mid-August ones should be going out this Saturday, so brace yourself if you’ve been waiting impatiently.

The Pimpstress of Greater Los Angeles had a brilliant idea last night that makes me sad to be 400 miles away from her. I remember when I dosed any brave souls that were willing with BBotE at her wedding last year. Fire and puppetry were already on the docket, but I feel the BBotE contributed to the awesome as well. Meditating upon this wisdom caused her to ask, “Why not do this intentionally to willing victims?” And thus the idea of the BBotE Tasting Party (emphasis on Party, I suspect) was born.

Have a chance to sample the various varieties, within limits of reasonable consumption, enjoy BBotE cocktails, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were still people playing with fire. So, she asks me to ask you, “Who wants to be notified when new shipments come in and about the Tasting Party and such?”

If you do, drop her a line here: bbote-la-subscribe@usefulmonkey.net

EDIT: She says this probably won’t happen until after Burning Man. Just FYI.