Attacking Befuddled Travelers With Kindness & Stein Tragedy

Wednesday evening I had the pleasure of picking up Test Subjects Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, and Scott Wegener’s Beard from San Francisco International Airport.  Both of them had just completed an arduous journey through several of this nation’s finest and most delayed airports. My Lovely Assistant and I felt it appropriate to greet them on arrival with a bottle of BBotE and a bottle of St. George Single Malt Whiskey, to help with the creative process if you will. Also, in a matter of pure happenstance, I parked next to Tesla roadster and it was still waiting for them in the garage when we got back out to car.

If they were crestfallen that the Tesla wasn’t specifically put there for their use, they hid their disappointment well.

It was a pleasure to walk their bleary-eyed, starving, travel corpses over to my favorite restaurant in Chinatown, give them a strange wandering history of San Francisco/California from the pre-Colombian period through John Carpenter’s “Big Trouble In Little China”. I took special care to make sure the Wing Kong didn’t get them and pointed out the supreme difficulty Big Jack Burton would have had in getting the Pork Chop Express anywhere around Grant St.

The following day, they gave a talk to the Academy of Art 2nd Annual Comic Symposium about how to insert robots into any idea you can find. This is known as the Team Robo Method(TM). I am sorry I had to miss it but I had a minor bit of crazy preparing for a trip to Las Vegas to hand  have deliver Stein #200 to Steinwielder & Test Subject Zitron and celebrate my Lovely Assistant’s birthday.

More seriously, I have had the pleasure of reading Atomic Robo since it was a brainworm that would not leave Brian Clevinger’s head. I have yet to meet someone that I’ve introduced to Atomic Robo that hasn’t ended up both adoring the story and laughing at the jokes. I still swear it is amazing the amount of emotion Scott Wegener’s gotten Robo’s almost featureless face conveys. And boy howdy do I have a deal for you, you can read the first issue for free online at Comixology. As they say, want some, get some! Besides, the more comics they sell the more likely I get to see them all again and I’m keen on that. Consider this a continuation of my Shameless Whorebaggery on Behalf of Others from last week.

Right before leaving for Vegas, a package arrived for me. I might have cackled with delight. Dr. Dinosaur is dear to my heart because, as my Lovely Assistant has said, I am prone to feats of broken logic that do a supergenius ‘raptor proud (and I have finger wriggles of anticipation at getting even more Dr. Dinosaur in the coming Free Comic Book Day, if rumor is to be believed). Now that I have both Atomic Robo and Dr. Dinosaur statuettes, I was able to let the duel begin as they chose their respective seconds:

Yes, I still play with dolls. DON'T JUDGE ME!
Atomic Robo & Stein of Science vs. Dr. Dinosaur & BBotE: FIGHT!

The heartbreaking aftermath of this otherwise awesome photo is that the cats of Funranium Labs were feeling very, very, VERY unloved in the wake of 36 hours worth of food ape-less kitty eternities. An episode of cat crazy demolition derby sent them crashing into the stand where the stein was mere minutes after this picture was taken. Therefor, there is now a new cat-damaged stein in the Prototypes & Clearance section, dagnabit.

Buffalo, Hear The Plight of Your Canadian Neighbors

I have an email folder devoted to messages of “Yeah, you weren’t kidding about the 100ml/day thing” but I could start a second one, nearly as large, regarding “Why is it so expensive to ship BBotE to Canada? WE’RE RIGHT ACROSS THE BORDER!!!” There’s normally a bit more swearing in the email than that. The potential cross-species lineage of postal and customs officials gets brought up sometimes too.

Honestly, there isn’t much to be done shipping direct to Canada despite the proximity of most of population being right across the line. I have to ship international express to get BBotE through customs in a timely manner, even to America’s closest neighbors. However, there is hope. As I outlined in “Oh, Canada” (with very similar complaints) the key to reduce costs to folks in Toronto specifically is for a brave soul to step forward as BBotE Pimp/Pimpstress of Buffalo. Torontonians, it will then be up to you to cross over to the Empire State for a caffeination mission.

But first, Toronto, go make friends with Buffalo. Let’s not have a Die Hard 3 situation when you do it though, mmmkay? The Nord des Lignes truck stop looked like a nice place before McClane got there.

Vegas, Again, Tomorrow

Denizens of Clark County, I am headed your way again at stupid o’clock in the morning. If there are things you’d like me to be bringing your way and thus deftly evade shipping fees, lemme know. There’s only so much room in my luggage and first come, first served.

Before you ask, Kona, Sumatra, and Panama BBotE are on hand. Kenya & Ethiopia will have to wait until next week. Of course, the steins on hand are listed here.

Cryogenic Cocktails – An Antarctic Tale

The Geographic South Pole (The Best Picture I've Ever Taken)
The Geographic South Pole, 2003 - The Best Picture I've Ever Taken

In addition to being South Pole Station’s bartender, my actual job (the reason I was sent to the bottom of the Earth) was as the science/cryogenics technician. It was my job to take care of all the liquid helium and liquid nitrogen and make sure all the cryogenic equipment on the telescopes stayed in good repair.

At the second major party of the summer, the disco party, I was the bartending as the construction worker from the Village People because I had flannel shirt and hard hat available to me, which is the only visual cue needed for construction work it seems. My boss’ boss, one of the people who originally interviewed me, was down for a few weeks during the summer and decided to attend the party. He’d already had a couple drinks before showing up and was surprised to see me there. He asked me to make something special. So, I mixed up a vodka with a little bit of dry vermouth and put it on the counter in a clear plastic cup.

As he reached for it, I batted his hand away. “You asked for something special”, I said.

I then reached under the bar for the 10L transport dewar of liquid nitrogen (LN2) and poured a little bit into his cup. He jumped back as the boiling fog came out of the cup’s top and covered the bar as the -170C LN2 hit the room temperature martini. After a couple minutes, and more batting away of his hand as he tried to grab it too early, it had calmed down and there was just thin layer of fog in the cup covering the drink. I picked the rather cold cup up, blew the fog off, and handed it to him.

He looked down into the cup at a strange crusty solid something floating in his drink. With some disgust he asked, “What the hell is that?”

I reached in the drink, pulled it out and threw it on the floor behind me. “That was all the useless water that used to be in your drink, diluting your martini”, I replied.

His eyes went a bit wide at that and he took a sip. He pounded the bar for a few seconds as his martini was now about 150 proof rather than the ~70 normal ones are. He then ran out the door abandoning his drink.

Ten minutes later, he returned with the eight visiting Swedish researchers in tow, almost like the schoolgirls from Madeline. He shoved them all up to the bar and exclaimed, “I want you to make for them what you made for me and don’t skimp on the LN2. Sven…I hired this guy.”

I made some very happy Swedes that night and gave my boss’ boss a hangover he shook his head in memory at for the rest of the summer.

Shameless Whorebaggery On Behalf Of Others

So, Kickstarter has brought many wonderful things my way, but some are near and dear to my heart. No, I am not here to request money for a project of my own; you already do that with your consumption BBotE & Steins of Science which only encourages me to go screw around with lab apparatus and coffee even more.

No, this is where I take a moment to share the collected projects of the Steinwielders, Test Subjects, and the Pimps/Pimpstresses that have taken the time to throw their needs my way and I am only too happy to help. I’ll punch through that wall again if that’s what it’ll take so you’ll support these projects, but please don’t make me shave my beard. Makes me look funny and it feels all itchy.

[EDIT: 750ml bottles of BBotE are now one of their rewards!] First, I give you the Pirates of Portland, the Corsairs of the I-5 Corridor, the Swasbucklers of Stumpton …(they can keep going with these for hours)…PDXYar. My very own BBotE Pimpstress of PDX (AKA Shantymistress Greta) is a member of the PDXYar crew and they are the saddest pirates in all the land, even more than the Pirates That Don’t Do Anything; they are pirates without a boat, but they’d like to fix that. As they like to say, GLORY can be had for as little as $1, which is a fair sight cheaper than freedom. They are all fine folks with a love of rum, fire, pointy things, rum, explosions, shiny bits, song and above all rum. If you are within 100mi Portland and have never heard of PDXYar, do yourself a favor and get to their next event wherever that may be for shenanigans.

[EDIT: This project is completed and they are on their way!] Next, I give you The Secretions and their need to get to Italy for their tour. Test Subject Mickie Rat was one of the earliest people to volunteer for caffeination duty after Warren Ellis got his test batch and shared with the world. He made the trek down from Sacramento to procure a bottle of Kona BBotE to keep him going on the road for the next several gigs and it did not disappoint. In return, I got a fresh fix of excellent music. Not only do I recommend that you help support their tour and keep them swilling in Moretti, as gigging & hosteling in Italy demands, but check out their tunes. It is angry music that I can definitely do math to.

[EDIT: This project is completed but still nifty] Thirdly, Test Subject Andrew made a significant life change a while back. While he was a decent artist, he decided he could make a better impact for the world by selling his soul to the law for cash (which then can be exchanged for food and services, like housing). With his new found powers of solvency, he found that he had the ability to help other artists reach their dreams and his creation of the Kickstarter project for the comic “All Fall Down” by Casey Jones was one of them. As of yesterday, the project had reached it’s goal but I include it here because I rather like the concept Mr. Jones has here, think that you all might want a piece of this and heartily thank Test Subject Andrew for sharing it with me.

Fourthly (I think that’s a word), Test Subject Hunt of Hunt Press, a small publisher in Los Angeles, is looking to make the great leap forward from micropress to small press by means of a glorious new computer. I can’t help but note that one of the rewards is some Black Blood of the Earth…

And, last but certainly not least, are the kids of the Mahomet-Seymour Jr. High Drama Club. Steinwielder Benchilada and Test Subject Robot bring this to my attention as the kids’ art was originally slated to raise more funds for the drama club and their upcoming original performance. After the Sendai earthquake and tsunami, the kids decided they’d rather donate most of the proceeds of the auctions to Japan instead. Fairly bad ass I say and these are children without fear about their art. Considering the shame I have about my own artistic skills, it always blows me away to see people putting themselves out there and that pretty much applies to every project I’ve listed here.

Right. Back to playing with THE DEADLY RADIATIONS as soon as I finish this here mug of BBotE. One must be properly caffeinated before confronting THE DEADLY RADIATIONS.

To Your Health

When someone wants to justify to themselves (or, more likely, their significant other) why they should be allowed to spend money on BBotE or a Stein of Science, I get a give-me-a-reason email. In my quest for “More Awesome” I accidentally tripped into “Good For My Health”. Allow me to explain:

  1. The Steins of Science allow you to savor your beer. Beer that isn’t getting particularly warmer is beer that you aren’t drinking particularly faster. You get the time to enjoy it but, more importantly, you end up drinking less beer over the evening. Not so great if your goal is liver damage, but I suspect most of us are more after the epicurean delights. This also goes for coffee/tea; you don’t end up chugging the last half before it goes cold.
  2. Black Blood of the Earth has a impressive hit of caffeine but the goal was something delicious that this diabetic with a sweet tooth didn’t need to add sugar or cream to. No sugar & no cream means no calories (well, technically two calories as coffee has some nutritional value) and no fat.
  3. For my fourth straight dental cleaning, I was complimented by my hygienist for the lack staining on my teeth. No acid means no etching of the coffee stains into your teeth, or as it was in my case before BBotE, staining from Coca-Cola.
  4. Of course, no acid means BBotE is also quite friendly on the stomach. While my stomach appears to be made of cast iron, other people’s are like delicate butterflies destroyed by the flamethrowers of conventional coffee. I keep getting thank yous from people no longer popping antacid in order to maintain their caffeine habit.

So, there you go. Hope that gives you suitable fodder for discussion.

In other news, I have done some post sorting to make it easier to find Funranium Labs tales of Adventure & Radiation. This should save you some hunting if you didn’t want to go wading through a couple of pages to find stories of excess at the South Pole or fun with with plutonium.

Test Subjects On The Internets

A few things from parts of the internets that have not been wheelclamped (I’m sorry about sharing that video, it won’t leave my mind):

First, I have been sent this chat exchange from IRC regarding a new Test Subject’s first experience with BBotE. It is posted here with their permission though handles have been changed to protect the not at all innocent, particularly <A Cruel Trickster>. Never, ever, dose people with BBotE without their knowledge. That is dirty pool, old man!

09:24 <@Test Subject> straight and diluted are both great preparations but cold right from the bottle is best
09:25 <@Joe Q Public> awesome
09:25 <@Joe Q Public> just in moderation right
09:25 <@Joe Q Public> did you get superbuzzed
09:26 <@Test Subject> I am getting a solid buzz after finishing about 1/4oz
09:26 <@Joe Q Public> that’s pretty good
09:26 <@Test Subject> you barely need to sip any. it just coats your tongue
09:26 <@Joe Q Public> what’s the viscosity like
09:27 <@Test Subject> not as much as I expected
09:27 <@Test Subject> but really, I mixed with 3pts water and it’s still the same color
09:39 <@Test Subject> it’s super sweet
09:39 <@Joe Q Public> sweet?
09:39 <@Joe Q Public> interesting
09:39 <@Test Subject> you don’t taste it in most coffee cause of the bitterness
09:40 <@Joe Q Public> is it chocolatey then?
09:40 <@Test Subject> yeah
09:41 <@Test Subject> some amaretto flavors
09:46 <@Test Subject> starting to vibrate
09:48 <@Joe Q Public> are you gonna fall out of your chair
09:49 <@Test Subject> lol <A Cruel Trickster> said I should pour half a bottle into the decaff pot
09:49 <@Joe Q Public> hahah
09:49 <@Test Subject> people would die
10:10 <@Test Subject> I am currently in an Enhanced State.

Luke McKinney Wants You To Drink

Next, Test Subject McKinney, Alcohologist For Hire, provides this review of his experience:

Black Blood of the Earth is like a block of pure copper: something fantastically useful provided by nature, refined be ingenuity, and ready to upgrade humanity’s ability to do everything. Drinking it is like a robot enjoying solid metal, with an electro-tongue free from silly things like ‘sweet’ or ‘salty’ to report the taste of pure power. It pours into your stomach and through your body, re-laying all your nerve pathways with electrical wiring.

I found it incredibly useful for extended writing sessions. It simply overrode feeling of fatigue and let me keep going as long as I wanted, but didn’t stop me from sleeping afterwards. Slowed the process down a bit but I was still able to rest and recharge for the next day.

Alcohology: Shake equal parts of BBotE and Kahlua in a jar to create SuperKahlua. I now keep a jar of this in the fridge beside the syrup and sour mix at all times. Substitute into any Kahlua cocktail for an ass-kicking upgrade. My favorite is the Anti-Lebowski, the White Russian for people who really do need to get things done, but I’ve tested it in a wide range of mixes and find it adds pep without breaking the original recipe’s balance.

In summary: Thank you thank you thank you

Test Subject Talena, who is on vacation in Australia right now, reports that while she was wandering about Sydney she randomly overheard people discussing BBotE. I hand delivered several liters to the continent on my 2010 Scientific Drinking World Tour and glad to see they made a bit of an impression. I’m sure international media attention and Warren Ellis had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

Lastly, I’m told that Fort Drum, NY has a small supply of BBotE laid in for emergency use. If you would like to plead and beg for some to be shared with you, you will have to find the hiding place somehow best it’s inhuman guardian who claims that his standard comfortable dosing of Sumatra is ~170ml. This is not a challenge for you to up your consumption beyond my 100ml/day recommendation and best him. Even I don’t drink that much at a single go, FEAR THIS MANIMAL!

Culinary Delights

Test Subjects Mortician & Porn IT engaged in a very special adventure a while back called the Bacation. Rather than spend hard earned money traveling to exotic locales, they instead stayed at home, watched terrible movies, and ploughed that money into as much bacon related food as the possibly could. Their Bacation yielded two wonders that have since entered my pantry and my heart (not just through arterial plaques).

The first is Bacon Salt. I suspect you all have come across this amazing kosher product through some other route, but I have to say that the additions of Hickory Bacon Salt took my grits ‘n’ eggs to the next level. I still made bacon to go with my grits ‘n’ eggs, but that meant that at no time did I take a bite of food that lacked the delicious taste of bacon.

IMPORTANT COCKTAIL NOTE: A Bacon Salt rimmed margarita is goddamn amazing. I highly recommend the experience.

Coolhaus "Louis Ba-Kahn" Bacon Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich Extravaganza
Coolhaus "Louis Ba-Kahn" Bacon Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich Extravaganza

Their next discovery was the Coolhaus “Louis Ba-Kahn” candied bacon ice cream cookie sandwich. I was brought six of these direct from Los Angeles, stored on dry ice, as an apology for the Test Subjects being late on their arrival in Oakland. Judging by the flavor, I can only assume lard was properly used in the making of the ice cream and cookie, in addition to the candied bacon chunks allowing for MAXIMUM PORK CONTENT in a desert product. If that were an Academy Award category, they would have just won it.

When I ate the second one with a cup of Ethiopia BBotE cut with three parts hot water, I found bliss and contentment.

If you live in LA, NYC, or Austin you owe it to yourself to eat at least one of these.

Also, I have identified the next BBotE experiment: Peru. Now, to find the time to get across the damn bay to go get some from my roaster of choice.

More Bits For A Wet Friday

First off, the Stein #200 Surprise is nearly upon us. Current production count is #199. Won’t be long now.

Second, Pinguino from DeviantArt very kindly created this instructional graphic. I have taken the opportunity to consolidate several preparations and cocktails into one place. If you have a favorite mix/cocktail you’d like to me to put up to share with the world, by all means, drop me a line. As an aside, since I already got asked, putrescine (the smell/flavor of corpses) is a product of protein decomposition, a process accelerated by heat. Ever wonder why old, burnt coffee tastes so horrible…that’s why.

Third, if you have not yet given the boys and girls at Tesladyne your hard earned money you certainly should give Atomic Robo a look see. They’ve worked damn hard to create a comic that not only has some decently grounded science & history but consistently leaves me cracking up as I read and re-read it. I also have had the great honor to serve as their sounding board for “Okay, please help make our science not sound like this?” Sure, when playing with science fiction it is expected you’ll take your leaps of fancy, but I credit Brian Clevinger with doing his damnedest to know what he’s jumping off of before playing in the creative void. Not to mention there’s not many people I can have a Franco-Prussian through Cold War science/war geek out session with. My Lovely Assistant is very happy he takes that bullet for her.

Also, Scott Wegener‘s art. I’m exceptionally impressed with how expressive the featureless face of Robo is. For all the swearing he does about the things he has to draw, he has certainly sucks you in with the end product.

Bits, Bobs, and Links

I think it’s high time to for me to talk about something other than geology and damaged nuclear reactors, if for no reason than to get me off the depressing state of science literacy in world, particularly America.

In the land of coffee, I can only assume everyone has spent all their tax refunds because I have enough breathing room to experiment with some new BBotE again. Part of it will be the never ending exploration of regions I know and love best (i.e. East Africa highlands). Another part will be a more thorough examination of the Americas; my Panamanian of choice is the only successful light roast I’ve had so far and the Guatemalan Finca Yara from Caffe Vita made the most delicious BBotE I’ve ever made. Lastly, with Crom as my witness, I will make the Malabar work in a duplicable manner. Experiment two was good, but experiments three, seven, and eight were not. It’s just too tasty to not tinker with…when it works.

Steinwielder and Test Subject John continually impresses me with the satchel he uses to transport his drinking vessel and caffeinated delights. After minimal poking on my part, he told me where he got it: Saddleback Leather. As much as people tell me they love my laboratory chic of the Steins of Science, I have to admit that I am a sucker for beautiful well loved leather.

Speaking of Steins of Science, the current count is on #198. We are perilously close to someone claiming the Stein #200 Surprise. Stein #191, the experimental 665ml Shiny Brass, suffered a kitty related injury mid-photo shoot. Much to my delight, it survived it’s glass lip first fall, although the base was dented. I bent it back out as best as possible and it sits level again, but still…damn cats. The price has been reduced accordingly.

Hangar One Chipotle Vodka with Friends
Hangar One Chipotle Vodka with Friends

Lastly, the kids at St. George Spirits have released a new batch of the Hangar One chipotle vodka. In addition to being a happy consumer of their wares, I also do my best to keep the place humming with Black Blood of the Earth. The benefit to this is that the distillery crew are inveterate, compulsive bartenders and have a hard time not tinkering with any ingredients lying around. Now that the chipotle vodka is back, the world may once more drink “Andie’s Breakfast”:

Get a pint glass, filled half full with ice
1.5oz St. George absinthe (allow time for the absinthe to louche)
2oz BBotE, preferably Kona
A dash of chipotle vodka
Fill the remainder of the pint glass with chocolate soy milk
Stir or shake, THEN CONSUME

Personally, I find this quite tasty without the chocolate soy milk but then I’m a diabetic that is getting steadily more accustomed to reduced sugar flavors in my diet. It looks as ugly as a three day old bruise with a milky green-brown color but the tasty is fantastic, wandering from chocolate to mint to licorice with a creamy mouth feel and a that little hint of chipotle burn.

There you go. I now return you to your regularly scheduled 24hr news cycle of certain, seemingly welcomed, doom.

Post-Tsunami Japanese Reactor Problems

While I like to keep my discussions here coffee, beer, and historical science related some things just can’t be ignored especially when people keep poking me for answers. So, I have some thoughts that are quite lacking in insobriety.

First, I am not a nuclear engineer, contrary to how more than a few people have referred to me; I am a health physicist. It is the purpose of my field to keep radiation doses as low as reasonably achievable (ALARA, as the acronym goes) for radiation workers and the public. More often than not, this means protecting the radiation sources from people as humans are rather dangerous when we ignorantly play with fire. So, I cannot definitively speak to the quality of the reactor’s construction or it’s current post-earthquake condition, though I’m pretty sure no one builds reactors with a M9.0 quake in mind (certainly not the outbuildings that held the cooling & filtration systems that have been damaged, never mind the rest of the city infrastructure). The job of a health physicist is now to protect the public from an accident that has gone beyond the confines of the reactor. For that, I can say things:

  1. If you do not live in northern Honshu, you do not have cause for panic. The radiation release from the reactor has been localized to the immediate vicinity. A downwind plume exposure pathway emergency planning zone (~10mi radius) as already been evacuated. A wider 50 mile radius will be drawn for confiscation of foodstuffs to minimize any potential ingestion of radioactive iodine & cesium.
  2. Please be understanding of the fact that thousands are dead from a tsunami and earthquake with associated services badly disrupted. Terrifying as a nuclear reactor having trouble may seem to you via television/internet report, there are much more lethal and immediate problems than the reactor to the people who are still in the middle of this. Just getting there to help is a logistical nightmare. Contamination can be cleaned up, but people can’t be unkilled. Life saving takes precedence over property & environment.
  3. Normal operations of a nuclear reactor involves the operation of air and water monitoring stations in the facility itself and area environmental monitors for many miles around. A tsunami is likely to have broken more than few of those, but many more mobile units were rushed to the scene. This is how we are keeping track of what has been/is being released to the surrounding area from the reactor.
  4. Radioactive materials are being released to the air in the form of radioactive steam and water. Dissolved metals in the water and small particulates are particularly prone to becoming activated and thus radioactive, especially without a functional cooling and filtration loop to clean the water up. The radioactivity is very short lived, in general on the order of minutes to about a week, but rather nasty while it is present.
  5. Reports have indicated the presence of small quantities radioiodine and radiocesium in monitoring. This indicates that some of the nuclear fuel cladding has been damaged due to overheating.
  6. Unless ordered by a medical professional, DO NOT self-administer prophylactic iodine or Prussian blue treatments to protect against radioiodine & radiocesium uptake. These treatments carry some significant metabolic risks at the body saturating doses necessary to offer protection.
  7. Please don’t mob the health professionals. They are badly outnumbered and doing their best. People with burns and crush injuries take precedence over potential radioactive materials uptake every time. Your latency for cancer is 40 years; their latency for a crushed arm may only be minutes. Do not be upset when they press-gang you for assistance at the triage station rather than treat you like victim, because you are still ambulatory and capable.
  8. The symptoms of acute radiation sickness (ARS) begin with vomiting. There’s an awful lot of things that may cause vomiting in a disaster situation like this, not the least of which is stress and psychosomatic response. At this point we will segregate you and watch for further advancement of symptoms. At present, only one person who has presented with symptoms that has had an actual radioactive materials uptake; his dose was less the 1/10th the what is normally associated with associated with ARS.

If you want to help with all of this, please, instead of buying a Stein of Science or Black Blood of the Earth go donate to the Red Cross. You will do far more good than staring at the TV with growing panic. Several colleagues I rather respect are already on their way to Japan to help with the reactor problems and I wish them the best. As endless a supply of caffeine as I can make is going with them.

I also recommend watching for announcements to come through the International Atomic Energy Agency, American Nuclear Society, and World Nuclear News.

An Important “Shiny Brass” Style Stein Field Modification

I’ll start this off by saying you all owe Steinwielder Brad a great debt of thanks for finding this and tinkering. Before sharing the discovery however, you must first endure my rambling.

The exposed glass style of Stein of Science are my least favorite to build. They are the ones that pose the most personal danger to me in the course of construction. While the warning label states that the dewar can shatter unexpectedly, the only time it is likely to in it’s life as a vessel for human beverages rather than a piece of grad student tortured labware is when I am turning it into stein (good news: hasn’t happened yet). The same warning label advises you to wear safety glasses, long sleeves, and apron; not needed while drinking beer, but you better believe I’m wearing them when I’m building shiny style steins.

However, the shiny steins are quite beautiful. Beneath that full metal jacket is the elegant curve of of silvered glass. They are consistently the ones people tell me they admire the most but are frightened of because of the lack of protective shield. Honestly, if you can take care of a pint glass, you can take care of the shiny style. Heck, it even has a handle; you don’t get that with a pint glass.

But there is something even better to recommend the shiny stein now: at long last and much searching, there is a travel mug lid for it that actually fits. By far, one of the most common questions I get asked is “Why don’t you have a travel mug lid for this?” You better believe I’ve been looking for well over a year. On Tuesday, Steinwielder Brad sent me these photos for the DCI I Am Not A Plastic Lid on his 350ml shiny brass:

The Silicone "Not A Plastic Lid"
The Silicone "Not A Plastic Lid"

Now, the lid in action:

Steinwielder Brad's 350ml Shiny Brass w/ Silicon Lid & "Devil's Coffee" in the Background
Steinwielder Brad's 350ml Shiny Brass w/ Silicon Lid & "Devil's Coffee" in the Background

This morning, I stole my EH&S Director’s ceramic coffee mug and verified that the silicone lid fit my day-to-day drinking stein (a 665ml shiny brass). It was a thing of non-spilled fluid beauty that will fit a 350, 665 of 1000ml bare glass style stein, but not an FMJ because of the fold-over gap of the aluminum shield. I admit, it is not the locking top travel mug lid that I hoped for nor quite as insulating as the foam lid I normally provide, but this makes it finally possible to use the steins (at least one specific variety) as goddamn travel mug.

Go forth, check it out on Amazon and get one, shiny brass Steinwielders!

Some Comic Love

Courtesy of the giggleworthy Inappropriate Games who regularly shares the finer points of Portland, piracy, and science education:

On a positive note, it is not to say the Science can’t determine the caffeine levels but rather that one set of scientists in particular haven’t had the time or lab managers willing to sacrifice their equipment on the altar of coffee. However, there is progress on this front. More news as it develops.

Another Stein Of Science Field Modification

Steinwielder Pulliam’s very first priority when asking about his potential 1000ml FMJ was, “Will it fit in my truck’s cupholder?” Honestly, cupholder compatibility was not what I was worried about as I was constructing the first of the steins but he laid out the plight of the soda/beer drinking man in Texas (a sentiment echoed by others in Arizona, New Mexico, and Florida). That even the finest of air conditioned cars must be turned off from time to time when you make the quick sprint from vehicle to buildings. It doesn’t take long for a soda left behind to turn into a watered down, flat, warm cup of nastiness to be poured out the window after one very disappointed sip.

If you are drinking beer out of your stein while driving…I can only assume you are in Lousiana or Wyoming*. Why doesn’t California have drive-thru liquor stores? I swear…

*: I have been smacked upside the head by my Lovely Assistant to remind me that drinking and driving is Bad. Also, drinking while driving. A stein full of beer in your cupholder while driving is most definitely an open container violation. Plus, it might spill if you break too hard.**

**: I have been smacked upside the head again.

Anyway, Steinwielder Pulliam did verify that his stein fits in his cupholder nicely but has resisted filling it with ice and soda for a day of errands for fear of spillage…until now. He has made a minor modification to the lid of his stein adding a straw. While this does add a bit of a thermal short circuit from the ambient air temperature to the beverage, this will be far better than transfer through a normal cup. No, I don’t feel like doing the heat transport calculations to verify this so we’ll just have to go with intuition and his empirical testing. Check out his work:

Texas Travel Mug 1
Steinwielder Pulliam's Texas Travel Mug

And a close up of his work on the lid using what just might be the finest of AM/PM travel mug straws:

Texas Travel Mug 2
Steinwielder Pulliam's Texas Travel Mug Lid Close Up

It isn’t watertight mind you, so he’s still going to have to mind those bumps and probably need to rinse the foam lid afterward but I approve of the effort. Failing that, I have replacement foam lids.

It is also a poking reminder of a question I get quite often, “I know you made the HDPE lid for the Playa Grade, but do you have a travel mug style lid, because that would be awesome?” The answer is no, but it’s not for lack of continual searching. The dewars are slightly irregular in size and no off the shelf travel mug lid really fits. But I keep searching and testing in hopes of finding one. Someday, I may just breakdown and commission one if I can find someone willing to make them in batches as small as I need.

Also, must look in to making those stein specific Pelican transport cases again…

Goiania

Today, we’re going to take a little excursion away from the realm of coffee and cold beer. I’m going to share one of the accidents I’ll be discussing with my students tonight. This is partially a matter of my marshaling my thoughts together for them. Ignoring Chernoybl & Fukushima, this remains the worst accident with radioactive materials in history.

NB: Yes, I am well aware that we killed plenty of people with Fat Man & Little Boy and that we have contaminated vast tracts of land with nuclear weapons testing. But one must remember, those were done intentionally. To a first approximation, we knew what we were doing and had taken appropriate precautions. Or, as one notable former Nevada Test Site employee said, “We never made the same mistake twice. Can’t think of many other institutions that can claim that.”

This story all began when a private cancer clinic with a nuclear medicine center shut down in Goiania, Brazil.  By 1987, much of the clinic was demolished but as derelict buildings in increasingly bad parts of town tend to go, it got a bad case of squatters.  Squatters are poor folk looking for any way to scrape by; one of those more popular ways is scavenging.  And what do most people scavenge: Metal.  Just ask your local homeless person with bags full of cans if you doubt me.  Why everything wasn’t gone when they shut down is a good question, but easy to answer: it wasn’t worth the effort.  What could easily be removed and/or be sold had been, what couldn’t they left, like the radiotherapy unit. Add in a side order of legal dispute about who was responsible for the unit and minimal regulatory oversight authority, and there you go.

Two hearty scavenging lads found this thing with lots of steel and aluminum in the clinic and thought they’d hit the jackpot.  The thought was doubly confirmed as they started tearing it apart and found this heavy metal bar with a goldish black window.  It felt much heavier that steel, and judging by the window, wow, that must mean gold.  So, they broke the window.  Within was a bluish glowing powder.  It wasn’t gold but they figured they could still get a couple bucks at the junkyard and that they did.

The owner of the junkyard thought it was beautiful and strange.  He thought it would make a great ring for his wife, Maria, so he set his workmen to task cracking the bar open and getting the pretty blue stuff out.  It was no easy task.  The found that inside the steel sheath was lead shielding containing an ampule filled with this metallic powder.

One yard worker died, the other lost an arm.  Despite taking what would otherwise be considered a very lethal dose, the owner lived.

After the workers got it free, they brought it back to their boss who then took it home.  His six year old daughter thought it was pretty and asked to play with it.  Being a doting father, how could he deny her?

Of all the people exposed in this incident, the daughter took the highest dose as she tended to eat her sandwiches on the same floor where she’d been playing with the source.  When she finally died a month later, she had to be buried in a lead lined concrete coffin.

Being social people, friends and family came over for a good extended family dinner.  The owner showed the blue powder to his brother who thought it was a miracle.  He asked for some, which his brother gave to him.  The brother went home and painted himself with the powder in the shape of cross, much like at Carnival, and then went out to work with the animals.

Everyone at the dinner party trailed contamination home with them and then to their families.  This is how the count of exposed people needing treatment rose to the hundreds.  Needless to say, the brother lost his arm…and all the contaminated livestock were slaughtered.  Luckily, none had gone to market before discovery of the incident.

When people started getting sick all at the same time, at first Maria started to think that she’d served some bad meat or juice.  She asked a local doctor if that made sense.  He said maybe.  Then she realized people who hadn’t been at the party were getting sick.  It occurred to her that it might be the blue stuff.  After the doctor sent her back home, she got progressively sicker.  Her mother moved in to care for her.

Both Maria and her mother died.

By the time Maria had brought the remains of the radiotherapy source to doctor, contaminating the bus she rode on in the process, 90% of the powdered metal had already been lost, spreading contamination through out the community.  According to Brookhaven National Laboratory, who originally made the Cs-137 cesium chloride source in 1971, it had an activity of approximately 1400 curies. Just for reference, the americium-241 source in your smoke detector contains less than 1 microcurie.  This radiotherapy source was, professionally speaking, motherfucking screaming hot.

This is not to say that comparing Cs-137 to Am-241 is apples to apples when discussing activity. At that point it becomes a matter of chemical characteristics and biological/environmental fate to determine exactly how dangerous a given isotope is for a given activity. However, I’ll have you know that this is a brown trousers time so hard your pants shoot across the room quantity of activity of Cs-137 from the safety point of view when there’s a loss of control. From a medical point of view, it was weak enough they probably couldn’t sell it off as a proper radiotherapy source anymore so they abandoned it.

Authorities learned of the loose source about a month after the scavengers first bust it open.  It took several more days for them to follow the trail back to community in Goiania and start getting people medical treatment; a couple more weeks to discover the full horrible extent of the contamination.  Only four people died, 54 people had exposures serious enough to merit hospitalization out of the 249 people found to be contaminated. This is of the 112,000 people that mobbed the public health officials & hospitals fearing they were going to have a horrible Hiroshima worthy death. It was wisely decided to move triage evaluation to the Olympic Stadium so that they could accommodate everyone, but it was still a nightmare processing everyone that was afraid. Several buildings were demolished and the top several feet of soil were removed as a part of the clean up, with an estimated 3500cu.yd. of contaminated material getting buried in a hole somewhere in Brazil.

As yet another a deeply tarnished silver lining, a lot of good health physics lessons were learned at Chernobyl (once international aid was invited to help with containment and cleanup) which, depending on your point of view, were fortunately/unfortunately put to excellent use at here.

I took a different lesson home when I first learned about this accident in detail several years ago: You Cannot Take ANY Knowledge For Granted. The radioactive source from the radiotherapy machine was prominently marked with the radiation trefoil but in this instance (and many, many others) it didn’t register with the victims in question that this denoted a hazard. This caused the IAEA to create a new ionizing radiation hazard symbol, a mishmash of somewhat familiar international symbols in hopes of scaring people off (skull & crossbones for “poison” and running guy with an arrow for “leave”) that has been called cluttered and confusing. My willfully obtuse reading of the new symbol to my old department chair was “Propeller wind causes pirates, go starboard”.

I think the root cause can be laid at a general lack of awareness/education about ionizing radiation. In First World countries, education has been lax though awareness is quite high, not necessarily in a good way as it is rather paranoid and poorly informed. Hell, I have a hard time getting nuclear engineering students to handle their rather benign sealed check sources. When items made in the First World end up lost downstream in the Third, a heavy price gets paid by the most vulnerable and least knowledgeable when control is weak or non-existent. There are dozens of reports of lost radiography sources at mines in the hinterlands all over the world being picked up because they were shiny and looked like silver (and thus valuable), taken home, and injuring the discoverer and/or their families. There are also far too many incidents of scrap yards like this one in Goiania receiving radioactive materials as metal salvage, reselling them and then tossing them into a smelter for recycling.

If I have any good news to share, it’s that the rate of incidents like this has decreased dramatically despite the increased use of materials worldwide. We’re getting better at playing with this particularly special kind of fire.