Good News, Everyone! New Local BBotE

Moving on to happier topics, I try to invoke Professor Farnsworth whenever possible as I am a Platinum Club Elite Member of the Angry Dome and the Chamber of Understanding.

The first case to the Pimp of DC/Baltimore, Eric, should be arriving tomorrow. As more than a few folks have asked when the Capitol Wasteland would finally enjoy it’s own BBotE Pimp, instead of it’s conventional run of the mill pimps, your desires have been answered.

The Pimpstress of NYC, Wish,will be getting a resupply that his heavy in Death Wish early next week. I hear tell that she will be wandering the floors of NY ComicCon, likely armed with 50ml vials. And if you are wandering through NYCC, please make a point to go torment the boys & girls over at the Atomic Robo table. Even if Ernest P. Warrell (AKA Scott Wegener) has a pants malfunction, it’ll still be a good time.

The Pimpstress of Greater Los Angeles, Natara, is in possession of a similarly Death Wish heavy case and will be receiving another one soon for her proposed BBotE tasting party at the end of October that will have a little bit of everything in it.

Lastly, in the very near future, probably sometime next week, the Pimp of Seattle, Jim, will be receiving his inaugural case. You may feel free to start poking him now by email at coffee_bro@live.com. Oh yes, I know you people in Redlands have been waiting, yes I do.

And Ireland, you may get a highly intermittent Pimp in Dublin. More news on that as it develops.

As a reminder, the Pimps and Pimpstress serve their noble roles as volunteers, unpaid save for the very ready availability of BBotE to their persons. They are doing you a favor by dramatically cutting shipping costs down, so please treat them nicely. Thank you, kids.

A Bit Of A Rant

Yes, there are fresh batches of Death Wish, Retiro, Colombia, and Mundo Nuvo up to tell you about and the Ambassador of Greater Los Angeles is resupplied, but I want to have a bit of a rant and it starts six years ago with a chocolate bar in England. Let’s see how many people I can piss off here…

Yorkie Bar

Yorkie – The Candy Bar I Couldn’t Believe I Was Seeing

After a very long walk toward the Thames that ended at Regents Park, our feet were aching and we were starving. Don’t ask how we achieved this fundamental geography failure, I blame all the crescents. We popped into a corner shop and I was lusting for a Bounty bar but the thing that drew my eye was a candy bar I’d never seen before, the Yorkie. I called Joe over to make sure that I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing.

Obviously, I also brought a bar home so that I could taunt my little sister with it as the Chocolate She Could Not Have. This is what big brothers are for after all. And because I am a nice big brother, I brought her plenty of other chocolate home from the land that didn’t change the definition of chocolate for economic reasons.

You may call this bar a manifestation misogynistic “laddie” culture. You may see this as a rather blatant flag waving for a war between the sexes in the interest of making a profit, the same as any arms merchant looking to sell bullets to both sides in the Central African Republic for a few diamonds.

If you ask me, it isn’t nice. It also seems a rather loud declaration that you don’t like sex with women. I’d be damn surprised to hear a tale of a lady swooning at the sight of you with a Yorkie hanging out of your mouth and that wrapper waving in her face.

Why do I bring this up?

A Test Subject with a keen eye sent me these words that came with a link to Black Blood of the Earth:

Men should grow a pair and brew their own. It’s not a woman’s job.

This is what happens when man makes coffee, and it is glorious.

Yes, I am a man. Yes, the coffee I have made is glorious. It is because it is made with SCIENCE, not because I have a penis. I’m pretty sure you don’t want penis coffee.

It is a twisty, backhanded statement in reply to a video compilation of 1950s commericals about wives ruining their menfolk’s coffee because the wives weren’t using Maxwell House, if I remember the commercial archive correctly. I like to always keep in mind the historical contexts because so many things don’t make sense if you can’t imagine the world they happened in (a skill that really helps as Eternal DM For Life). That said, it’s good to always remember when doing this that you live in the Now.

Some people are fond of the ironic misogyny for humor value. If you do this, and I’m not sensing humor in the comment I was sent, doing it in the written word is asking for trouble. It needs to be done face to face, to the female friend in question (do not play this game with strangers), with the full recognition that you are being an ass and don’t believe this (which is why you don’t do this to strangers), AND you have to be quite willing to accept the corporal punishment for having been unable to resist saying the horrible thing you just said.

I can get away with saying horrible things because I don’t believe in them. Because friends know damn well that this is coming from a diseased mind that has spent far, far, FAR too much time in the dark corners of history. I have a firm belief that you need to pull the history we don’t like to talk about out from time to time to look at it, to get a feel for that history, to realize how very recent some of it is, because we start to forget what it was and may not recognize Bad Things in progress now. But, damn, be careful lest you accidentally bring the Bad Things back.

Yes, I’m an ass. But I’m a cognizant one with poor impulse control and I happily take my lickings for being an ass. So, to the young lads reading this old man’s words, you don’t know enough to be an ass properly. And when you do it improperly, in the words of the Caffeinatrix of PDX, you are a brodouche. It takes an awful lot of education to do it right, so for the sake of your mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, and special lady friends you probably shouldn’t. I’m sure they’ll educate you, if they care to stick around.

Besides, Yorkie bars didn’t even taste all that good.

ADDENDUM: To the brodouche that happily threw my own safety recommendation back at me as proof of women being the weaker sex, I had to do the *MUST NOT KILL AGAIN* rub of the temples to quiet the soothing voices of unwise action. Let us review that safety recommendation.

Also by the back of the envelope calculations, 1 liter consumed in a fairly short time period might hit the LD50 acute dose for caffeine for a 160lbs male hairless ape. And, just for the record, women are generally somewhat more caffeine sensitive. Use your BBotE wisely.

This is not proof that men are “better” than women because we, on average, can safely consume more caffeine. It makes me a little bit sad when someone compliments BBotE strictly on it’s caffeine jolt rather than the taste. I can tell you from my “So you weren’t kidding about that 100ml/day” email file that the overwhelming majority of people that decided to start their consumption at 100ml and had a bit of an oopsie are men of the gaming persuasion, the alpha geeks… theoretically, My People. So, while you may be able to consume more caffeine than a similarly BBotE-armed lady, please don’t try to claim that you’re better on that basis.

New Offerings After Radio Silence

After roughly two weeks of maximum output BBotE production, I can finally come up for some air and share some tinkering that I’ve been doing and respond to some requests. For folks who ended up waiting more than a week for me to finally get something out your way, I’d like to apologize for that and I hope that the BBotE was worth the wait.

But first I want to share something wonderful with you. It is called The Cup of Hate:

The Cup of Hate

The Cup of Hate - Test Subject Miller's Zardoz Mug

Despite a 350ml FMJ stein being my vessel for coffee administration, I find it hard to not be jealous of Test Subject Miller’s creation. Oh Zardoz, your budgie smuggler will haunt humanity through the ages.

Next, Steinwielder Thornber made a special request of me several weeks ago. He has a 665ml FMJ stein but has always been too worried about his fellow passengers to comfortably transport it from home, to his local watering holes, and back again in a more inebriated manner. He’d also found that his preference for some of the local Belgians was not particularly suited to the imperial pint size. He wanted to know if it was possible to make a 350ml stein in the style of the “rugged” 665ml FMJ.

350ml Textured Variant "Rugged" Stein of Science - The twin stein to Steinwielder Thornber's.

I told him I didn’t know, but I’d be willing to tinker around with it. The result worked quite well. It’s heavier than the normal 350ml FMJ, but it gets the job done. Because you never, ever, buy just one of anything when you’re experimenting (have to expect failures) the twin to Steinwielder Thornber’s 350ml rugged FMJ stein is now in the Prototypes & Clearance section.

Speaking of the Prototypes & Clearance section…

Courtesy of the many, many, MANY new eyeballs that have graced the website since Test Subject McKinney casually mentioned Black Blood of the Earth in an article he wrote for Cracked.com in his author’s info block (and I’m not quite sure if I want to thank or shoot him for that), I’ve had a lot of folks asking why I didn’t have samplers of Death Wish, Mundo Nuvo, etc. Honest answer, because I haven’t been able to maintain sufficient supplies of all them to be able to think of offering a Sampler II, Electric Boogaloo. Now that the order wave has passed, I can and it is now up there. Sampler II will always be limited in inventory and the limited runs may shift over time as given roasters run out of certain varietals.

Shameless Shilling For Atomic Robo

SHORT VERSION: Go here, figure out a way to buy ALL THE THINGS. You’re welcome.

DISCLOSURE: I get nothing out of this beyond my friends being able to write more comics and me being able to read them. So, yes, it is entirely selfish on my part.

For those of you new to my rambling, I will from time to time take a moment to share things I think you all need to know about to help make the world a better place. Better is defined by my highly subjective and personal standards of More Awesome that will get people thinking about and enjoying the world they live in.

One of those things that qualifies for this is the comic Atomic Robo, by Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, Rhonda Pattison, Jeff Powell and the unofficial fifth Beatles of Team Robo that helps them spake Angleesh much da goods, Lee Black.

They are embarking on their sixth volume now but, thanks to their Promise and understanding of the narrative art/storytelling structure, you can happily drop in at any point story that spans the 90 year long (thus far) life of Atomic Robo and you’ll be no worse for wear. I’m gonna strongly recommend you read all of it because I like you and want you to have More Awesome in your life, but you may feel free to start at Volume 6, Issue 1.

Volume 6, Atomic Robo and the Ghost of Station X, starts with the wonderful combined narrative threads of astronauts in trouble and the mystery of why someone stole a building from Blechtley Park. If that isn’t enough to sell you on wanting to know the rest of the story, I don’t know what will. There is also, teehee, a glorious surprise in it.

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting the creators, caffeinating the bejeezus out of them, and then setting them loose on the world of comics once more. It’s sort of like a creative catch and release program. I’ve had the pleasure of being science sounding board for them for several years now. It’s one of those things that makes my day when I get a fresh email along the lines of “Phil, how does *INSERT HORRIBLE THING HERE* work and how can it be made More Awesome?”

I adore Atomic Robo for more or less the same reasons I loved the cartoons Animaniacs and Invader Zim. For one, they’re funny and they’re funny on multiple levels, which makes them appealing to both kids and adults. Second, they are smart. There’s a lot more than just funny and Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, grade explosions. If you aren’t careful, you’ll accidental learn things. And third, the detail in both words and art. Brian & Scott have managed to hide an awful lot of things that give the world of Atomic Robo depth and character. I can see where Scott went off the deep end and spent hours researching engineering awards from the height of the Jet Age, just to make a logo look right for the era. They’re crazy, but it’s crazy I appreciate.

Enough of my words. Go buy it, read it, and enjoy it. Then go buy more and give it to a child you wish to corrupt.

Atomic Robo and the Ghost of Station X, courtesy of TFAW

Atomic Robo and the Ghost of Station X, courtesy of TFAW